I recently visited the house in Jakarta that I grew up in until I was 14. It had been twenty years since I left it. My mother left my things exactly how I had them. It was like opening a time capsule. I had these precious toys, books and other personal effects, but how I remember them vivid with colours, they are now the complete opposite; stained, yellowed and moldy. Due to the humid and hot climate of Jakarta, not one thing survived. It was kind of sad finding them like that. I wonder if one day after I am gone, this doll that I once really liked would become stained, yellowed and moldy too. So i am taking his photos, hopefully whoever ends up with him would find these photos and can see how he once looked.
I didn’t draw this of course! It’s a real photo of my #venitu that was processed via #Arteffect, but i just like how his hair looks here and that pissed off face is starting to explain everything.
I suppose if you grew up in the sort of tough neighbourhood he had you’d have a hard expression too. Kitson is largely a solitary person, who couldn’t care less if he fades into the background. He wouldn’t throw the first punch if he could help it. If he does get bloodied it’s always in the defence of someone in need of protection, though he gets blamed for it all the same. There’s not a single romantic bone in him and diplomacy is not really his strongest suit. He realises this and how it could hurt others, so before that happens he usually takes himself out of the equation. A lonely albeit effective existence.
If Ma wasn’t so sick and the money constantly drained for her medical bills, Kitson would have loved to finish high school and maybe go on an apprenticeship to become a mechanic. He was better with machines than with people. With machines, they either work or they don’t, and if they don’t work you can always fix them or if they are beyond repair, salvage what you can and the rest heads out to the tip. It was simple.
With people, there’s just no telling how deep something is broken or where to even begin to repair.
Here he reminds me of Mafuyu from that manga “Given” by Kizu Natsuki, lol. Cameron’s not the best paintjob, but i dunno, i like this expression. I think I would be very sad if i accidentally ding’d this faceup. I didn’t want a pretty Venitu, I didn’t want a handsome or cool looking one. I want one that looks just unassuming and ordinary actually. I want a face that I can look into and not be daunted or awed, but just quietly tells me his story.
Sometimes I like to imagine what sort of person Cameron would be if he didn’t have his illnesses. I think he would be into bio science, he’d be inclined to keep his hair short because his field assignments always take him outdoors and having long hair would just get in his way, he’d be the type to not care about his wardrobe at all and is quite happy for his girlfriend (or mom) to pick whatever they want him to wear, he’d be the type to live in a small apartment, filled floor to ceiling with books, half a dozen science projects strewn around his small kitchen, he’d adopt a single rescue cat, tabby and orange like his hair, the cat would make him feel less bad when teased about being a ginger, he’d be the type to love going barefoot, the feel of grass between his toes excites him just as much as observing a rare whale, he’d be the type to be really awkward and shy when it comes to girls, perpetually confused by and in awe of how nature made the opposite sex, nonetheless he cherishes their intellect and sensitive hearts.
When I had finished painting Kitson (on left) I thought “WOW YOU ARE ONE FUGLY MOTHAFUCKA” and was super embarrassed of him because really folks, he was some garbage paint job, lol. Now I am more embarrassed to know that someone on Ebay thought that this is a look worth replicating on recast dolls and is selling this as makeup option B. Egad! Come on folks, don’t perpetuate garbage, make something nicer & different lah!
Anyway, I’m not going to discuss the problems regarding copying a recognisable image without obtaining proper permission (which they haven’t obtained) I just wanna talk about Kitson and why he looked the way he did, so next time somebody wants to replicate his looks exactly they at least have some sort of an idea about what it is they are drawing or why they are using chains and shit. Kitson was the unfortunate kid who got turned into an undead creature and was later poached and forced to fight in illegal arenas as a zombie slave (you can read a bit about him here: https://thatvenitu.wordpress.com/2015/03/01/silence/). The nicks and slashes across his face were primarily from those endless fights. Most of the time he is feral and uncontrollable, especially when he smells blood or living flesh, that is why his handlers put him in chains/restraints. Despite appearing/behaving like a monster, Kitson’s humanity sometimes resurfaces, he feels remorse and anguish when he realises what he has done, that is why he sometimes sheds tears when no one is watching and hence the dirt stained tear tracks on his cheeks.
I guess some habits die hard. Those who knew Kitson before he became a zombie, were probably more familiar with his fists than his manners. At first he was just getting back at those bullies who kept attacking the kids from his hood. Being poor just makes you a target of many different kinds of vices. One thing led to another, when one debt cleared another just took its place. One friend saved, another just took an advantage. When they started betting on his fights, that’s when he knew he was falling through the cracks. But the money was good. It helped ma with her medical needs. It was so easy to give in. Before long nothing else made sense but the blood and the shakes.